6. Did you have an open marriage? What's it like having sex with someone in a wheelchair?
Somehow I knew this quesiton would pop up.
I am always reluctant to call it an open marriage because in most people's minds that means we were out screwing anything and anyone we wanted. That is far from the truth. I used to say it was more a case of our marriage being slight 'ajar' rather than open.
I am bisexual, my husband was bisexual. Now, he had a lot of sexual experience in his past having been a teenager in London during the punk era and having moved in that world. I, on the other hand, was a virgin when we met but I knew I was bisexual. We had a very healthy communication as far as our sex life was concerned in that we talked about our desires and weren't threatened by them.
So, we had some threeways and then over time it moved to that very ocassionally we would both go out to our seperate playmates that could satisfy parts of desires that the other person couldn't based on gender or kink. My husband was into BDSM and I am not so it would have been horrible of me to deny him the right to ever express that ever in his life after he met me. Just as it would have been horrible for him to deny me the right to ever express my bisexual side.
We knew how much we loved each other and we knew that sex was just sex and that making love really was/is something different. We also know that when the fun was over we would becoming home to each other because that was where we wanted to be and not because we were somehow required to be there.
Through the years I discovered that I have tendencies to have polyamorous feelings from time to time. For me it is the case that I need one 'Primary' in my life where we love each other more than any others but I am capable of loving other people in my life in different ways than that. That was harder to come to terms with than being bisexual and if I am honest, I have not yet fully come to terms with it.
As far as sex in the wheelchair goes: We never actually had sex in the chair..not the least because I don't think it would have stood up to that sort of abuse. In addition to which, Marc could walk. It was just the case that walking any sort of distance was very painful. For most of the time I knew him he was on crutches but for the last few years he pretty much needed the wheelchair or his electric scooter if we went outside of the house.
I did have to take some care as he had very bad non-healing ulcers on his legs that caused him constant pain but extreme pain if they even had a strong wind cross their path. So, I had to be very careful not to come in contact with his ulcers while we had sex but somehow we managed
