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Tam · 08-15-2002, 09:29 PM

Honey, I won't lie to you for even a second... I was more terrified than you can possibly imagine....... I was abused as a child so all of that played into my fears.... was I going to carry that down to my children as well..... was my temper going to get the best of me and was I going to hurt my kids and teach them what I was taught............ I had more fears and demons than I even care to talk about here..........

BUT

I held her in my arms, she weighed only 6lbs and 14oz and I looked at into her face.... I cried, I laughed and I knew in the very INSTANT I looked into her face that I could NEVER do to her what was done to me.... I could never hurt her, wasn't going to allow her to wonder if when she laid her head down at night whether her Dad and I loved her or not.......... it just wasn't an option.

That little miracle in my hands was there and *I* was responsible for anything and everything that happened to her. I was who she depended on to help her when she was not feeling well...... I was the one she would love unconditionally, no matter what I did......... what in the HELL was I going to do with that........ what was going to pull me thru it and help her grow up to always know I loved her and that we would die for her if needed..... what was going to help me learn all those lessons........

It was easy..... SHE was going to help me learn to deal with all of that....... SHE was the one that was going to help me overcome my demons and break patterns in my life....... SHE was going to be there when I fucked up and didn't do everything just perfect..... SHE was going to be the one that loved me in spite of all my faults......... and SHE is the one that made ME want to return all of that love to HER..........

Shei s now 18 and quite the young lady....

It will come to you.... all of this and so much more. There is literally NOTHING you need to be scared of. YOUR coming here and asking this shows you have the desire to be the best Mom possible and teach her and grow WITH her...... this says to me you are already on a wonderful Mother...... so kick back and take in all of it..... You are there babe......... you are already a great Mom. ;)

08-15-2002, 09:29 PM
Tam Rude Bitch Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: In your face Posts: 8,526	Honey, I won't lie to you for even a second... I was more terrified than you can possibly imagine....... I was abused as a child so all of that played into my fears.... was I going to carry that down to my children as well..... was my temper going to get the best of me and was I going to hurt my kids and teach them what I was taught............ I had more fears and demons than I even care to talk about here.......... BUT I held her in my arms, she weighed only 6lbs and 14oz and I looked at into her face.... I cried, I laughed and I knew in the very INSTANT I looked into her face that I could NEVER do to her what was done to me.... I could never hurt her, wasn't going to allow her to wonder if when she laid her head down at night whether her Dad and I loved her or not.......... it just wasn't an option. That little miracle in my hands was there and I was responsible for anything and everything that happened to her. I was who she depended on to help her when she was not feeling well...... I was the one she would love unconditionally, no matter what I did......... what in the HELL was I going to do with that........ what was going to pull me thru it and help her grow up to always know I loved her and that we would die for her if needed..... what was going to help me learn all those lessons........ It was easy..... SHE was going to help me learn to deal with all of that....... SHE was the one that was going to help me overcome my demons and break patterns in my life....... SHE was going to be there when I fucked up and didn't do everything just perfect..... SHE was going to be the one that loved me in spite of all my faults......... and SHE is the one that made ME want to return all of that love to HER.......... Shei s now 18 and quite the young lady.... It will come to you.... all of this and so much more. There is literally NOTHING you need to be scared of. YOUR coming here and asking this shows you have the desire to be the best Mom possible and teach her and grow WITH her...... this says to me you are already on a wonderful Mother...... so kick back and take in all of it..... You are there babe......... you are already a great Mom. ;) __________________ Get in Touch on Telegram if you need a hardworker - (since 1999) - All About Me!