steffie

I haven't laughed that hard in days. I have both, a cat and dog. Read on

As seen in a dog's diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favourite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

As seen in a cat's diary :
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of
the stairs.

In an attempt to and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must
remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I
was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and
how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I
have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...


So True,,, So True
ROTFL

__________________
Partying since '96 and not going anywhere Anna's Dorm