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True Life Midget Story.
Important note: Midgets may seem cool, but are still sensitive! OK, so DeeAnn wants some movies, so I walk out to go pick 'em up. On my journey, I am at an intersection and waiting for the light to change standing next to... you guessed it - a full-blown 100% midget.Ý Here's the conversation (you know, one of those "bored, waiting for signal to change so you feel like you gotta talk to the person next to you" ones):
Midget: You're pretty tall
Me: Yeah - you're pretty short pause
Midget: Well I'm a midget
Me: That explains it.
Midget (yes, out of nowhere this is said - with no real pause - also said kind of excitedly/happily): I'm going to get beer.
Me: Uh, OK.Ý (at this point, thinking maybe we are sort of on a similar wave length and this midget is kind of cool about his midgetness) -- So, do regular beers seem really, really big to you?Ý Since you're a midget and all?
(pause - during which time I think I have fucked up)
Midget: Fuck you.
Me: Um, OK.Ý Sorry. uncomfortable silence until the signal changes and I take advantage of big people's legs and make sure to walk really fast ahead and away...)
That's pretty much a literal transcription, and yes, it really did happen. Once again, exercising my ability to misread people and show great tact...
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