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Listen to this shit:
Well, I went back in to the Gentlemen?s Club last night.
This time I was ready! I knew that if the bouncers saw me again, there would be an instant fight, so I wore a Halloween wig that didn't look too fake (good thing the club is dark).
I entered the club pretty late and paid the cover charge. One of the three bouncers (that bounced me) was working the door and looked right at me as I walked in. I wasn't sure if he recognized me or not. He actually opened the door for me and I thanked him.
I went into the club and hung out for a while. I had a few beers while waiting to see ?Kylie.? I probably drank a little more than I wanted to, but I was still good to go. I waved to Kylie, (the "cohort") the first time I saw her walking the floor. I was nice to her and smiled as I waved. She stopped by my table and asked if I was wanted a table dance. She was looking right at me and she didn't know it was me. I said, "I think I'm in the mood for something more," and asked if she might want to dance for me in the gold room. I was holding out some fifties and she ran her hand across my chest and grabbed my hand to lead me to the "gold room."
We made our way into a private dance room (gold room). They are really, really dark and nobody can see into the gold rooms while the dances are going on. When she started to dance, she began rubbing herself on me and quickly took off her top. She slowly slid up and down on me and I was just sitting there smiling. A few minutes into the first dance, she turned around and started grinding her junk filled trunk in my crotch. While she faced away from me, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a can of mace. When she turned back around to face me, I stretched out my arm and pointed the can right at her face and sprayed. I just kept the can nozzle wide open and sprayed her from head to toe (concentrating mostly on her face). She started swinging her fists trying to hit the can of mace and trying to hit me. She began to gasp for air. It was funny because her eyes were shut and she was just swinging wildly. She staggered around with tears streaming from her eyes and snot dangling from her nose. She was making really weird noises and coughing a lot.
I knew I was going to need some help to get out of the club, so I also brought a couple smoke bombs. I lit them and rolled them as hard as I could through the door curtains across the club floor. I made sure to throw both of them to the opposite side of the club and once the smoke started to gather, everybody started yelling, screaming and running. The bouncers ran toward the smoke as the patrons scrambled for the exit. Some of the dancers ran backstage and some just ran out the exits with the patrons.
Kylie was screaming at me as she rubbed her eyes and tried to make her way out of the gold room. I thought her screaming was going to bring the bouncers right to our room, so I just grabbed her around the neck with my arm. Even though her eyes were pretty much swollen shut, she knew right where to swing her elbows. We wrestled to the ground (my wig came off as we went down) and I told her to shut up, or I would spray her some more. She just kept screaming and fighting, so I let her go, stood up and pulled my belt off. I warned her again to shut her mouth and just then she let out the loudest scream I've ever heard. I began whipping her with my belt. I gave her the buckle end of the belt and I hit her as hard as I could with it. After a few good whips, she stopped screaming and started crying. She had her knees pulled up and she was curled into a ball on the floor. I could see her "tip" money safely rubber banded together tucked in her garter belt. I ripped the whole garter belt off her leg and took her wad of tip money (it was around four hundred dollars).
I knew I had to get out of there quickly, so I looked back through the door curtain and saw the smoke had filled like half the club. The fire alarm had gone off at some point and all the chaos and noise helped cover all the noise we had been making. Kylie was on the ground, still crying and reaching for the parts of her body where I really got her good with the belt buckle. She was bleeding from some of the hits.
I saw my chance and just ran for the front door. I had an Exacto Knife in my sock just in case. I never needed to pull it out. I'm sure none of the bouncers saw who I was. They probably thought I was just another customer trying to get the hell out of the club. I just ran for my car. I had parked a in a remote parking lot away from the club. It was only when I got to my car that I could feel how my eyes, nose and mouth were burning a bit from the mace. It all happened so fast, and I was so hyped up that I didn?t notice anything until I was sitting in my car. A stack of flyers that read, ?Kylie has Herpes!? was still setting in my car. I had planned on throwing all around the club as I ran out, but I couldn?t hide them very well under my shirt and I didn?t want to risk being stopped by the bouncers on the way in, so I just left them in my car. I thought about driving by the club (with everyone standing around in the parking lot) and tossing all the flyers out as I drove passed. I figured that is a sure way to get caught (or at least spotted/identified) so I just went home.
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