newbreed,
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Originally Posted by newbreed
She was my everything, my every reason for living.
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Never let anyone become this important in your life. Never let this happen again with anyone else, especially her... even if she comes crawling back. Your life needs to revolve around you... and only you.
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Originally Posted by newbreed
I would do anything to see her walk back thorugh the door.
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Why? Do you really want to give her a chance to break your heart again? If she wants to get back into your life, never forget what she has put you through... all the pain, suffering, heartache, sleepless nights and emptiness. You'll be able to heal over time, especially with the help of close friends & family... but only if you remove her completely from your life. If she did cheat on you, then she does not deserve your love, affection and respect... and never did. But if you let her walk into your life again, you are giving her the opportunity & power to destroy you. Don't make that mistake.
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Originally Posted by newbreed
No one will ever know the loss I feel right now, no one.
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Unfortunately many of us do understand. I've been through it... ONCE... and only once... and I swore I would never let that happen to me again... and it hasn't. Even though it took me awhile to get over her, I did... by completely erasing her from my life. No mementos, photos, videos, letters, memories, etc... she threw me away with no regard for my feelings, so I did the same to her. I'm partly to blame because I was busy building an empire, instead of a relationship, but it was supposed to be "our" empire, now it's all mine. Immerse yourself in your work, your friends, your family... and get out of the house and see how many wonderful people are out there waiting for you to meet, even if your close friends need to drag you out of the house. And you need to do it soon or else years will pass by in the blink of an eye. I don't know you, but I wish someone was around to give me this advice when I went through what you went through. It may seem impossible, but you will get over her and move on, which she will hate (sometimes they like to know you never got over them)... if that's not a good enough reason to get over her, I don't know what is. When you're finally over her and holding someone else in your arms, you'll wonder why you didn't get over her sooner, and you'll wish she left you sooner than she did.
As far as the guy who came in-between you, you may have some recourse (this isn't legal advice), but check to see if your state has:
"Alienation of Affection"
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An outsider's interference with marriage can cost the outsider big bucks. Non-lawyers are often surprised to learn that a spouse can sue for money damages in this State based on allegations of emotional harm caused by a third party to the marital relationship. These lawsuits for ?alienation of affection? and/or ?criminal conversation? are usually brought by the innocent spouse against the guilty spouse?s lover; but an alienation action may also be brought against someone like an in-law or other near relative who has advised a defecting spouse to leave the marital relationship. There is a three year statute of limitation for criminal conversation and alienation of affection, pursuant to N.C.G.S. Section 1-52(5). This statute starts on the date that alienation occurred, which is determined by a court on a case-by-case basis. An action for alienation of affection, on the other hand, does not require proof of extramarital sex. It is not necessary to show that the defendant set out to destroy the marital relationship, but only that he or she intentionally engaged in acts which would foreseeably impact on the marriage.
Conduct after date of separation
The date of separation is an important date in alienation of affection and criminal conversation cases. Our courts have decided that conduct that occurs before the date of separation is relevant to these types of actions. This is because a claim of alienation of affection must prove that, among other things, the defendant?s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection in the marriage. The parties to the marriage must still be together in order to prove this claim. It is important to note, however, that conduct which occurs after the date of separation may also be considered by a judge, if that conduct corroborates the conduct that occurred before the date of separation. In criminal conversation actions, by contrast, post-separation conduct is even more important. Conduct which occurs after the date of separation can be considered by a court to not only corroborate behavior that occurred before the date of separation, but is enough on its own to maintain an action for criminal conversation.
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and if your state doesn't have what's mentioned above, then:
"Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress"
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Substituting Alienation of Affections With IIED
Since most states have abolished alienation of affections, wronged spouses have tried to recover damages under the cause of action known as intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED). Courts have generally recognized IIED as separate and distinct from alienation of affections, so that IIED may be available against a third party for conduct that breaks up a marital relationship, even in states that have abolished alienation of affections. To bring a successful IIED claim, the party suing must prove four elements:
* Conduct that is intentional or reckless
* Conduct that is extreme and outrageous
* The wrongful conduct caused the emotional distress
* Severe emotional distress
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and even though you do not want to let us know who the guy is, it does serve a purpose... I for one, and perhaps many others, would steer clear of doing business with someone like that and it'd be nice to have fair warning who to keep our wives/girlfriends/models away from. If he's one of my current business associates, I would lose all respect for that person... and I don't do business with people I don't respect.
This person knowingly destroyed your marriage and fucked up your life, the least you can do is make sure he suffers too.
Well, good luck in the future... you seem like a strong person with much integrity and it looks like you are trying to do everything in your power to find a solution to a situation you no longer have any control over. Much respect for you... and if we have an opportunity to do business in the future, after you're over this, I'll remember how you really cared about taking care of your affiliates and business associates. We all will.
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