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NB, it may feel like you're the only one going through this kind of pain, but trust me... you're not. Many of us have been there at one time or another. All you can do is talk to others who care about you, talk til you're blue in the face and can't talk anymore.... then time is all that can ease this for you.
Best of luck, it looks as though you're the only one who has a shot at holding the program together, since she is conspicuously absent here.
Again, all the best.
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