|
Ok, being born in newport beach and still here after 30 years, i will bite:
1. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. NOT EVEN CLOSE
2. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice. EVERY DAY
3. You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone. NOT TRUE
4. You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican. TRUE
5. You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you
know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there
(see below). HUH?
6. You drive to your neighborhood block party. NAH
7. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same
day. AND SKATE TONY HAWK'S PARK
8. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal. EVERY DAY IS MORE LIKE IT
9. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're
definitely driving. OR CABBING IT
10. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code. HUH?
11. You know what In-N-Out is, and feel bad for all the other states
because they don't have any. YUM
12. You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll. FUCK THAT, YOU CANT GET A GOOD LAUNCH THAT WAY
13. You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan. GUESS SO
14. You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times... You don't remember at
least 1 of them. MORE LIKE 30 TIMES
15. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. NEVER BEEN TO ONE
16. You eat pineapple on pizza. ALL THE TIME
17. Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your
head. USE CELL ONLY ABOUT 4 MINUTES PER DAY
18. You think that Venice is a beach. DONT CARE FOR EITHER
19. The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal. NEVER
20. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. NOPE
21. You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. HUH?
An "818" would never date a "562" and
anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class.
Best area code: "714." WRONG, 949 OWNS ALL
Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks there. RiVERSIDE
22. You call 911 and they put you on hold. OK
23. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory. NOPE SORRY
24. The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. WOULDNT KNOW
25. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It
doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing,
you are just better than them, for whatever reason. HUH?
26. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will
find a McDonald's or a Starbucks. STARBUCKS ON EVERY BLOCK
27. You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean. YES
28. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal? FOR ME IT IS.
29. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on
every news station: "STORM WATCH 2005 " WE GET HEAVY RAINS OCCASIONALLY
30. The Terminator is your governor. UNFORTUNATELY
31. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
California. NOPE, WASTED ENOUGH TIME ALREADY
|