I was parking my car when I heard this lady screamming. I looked up and saw this dude running with her purse. This MoFo was hauling ass! Two guys were running after him but the dude was pulling away from them. This motherfucker must have played running back in high school.
Then he comes accross a little bridge leading into the parking lot and I jumped out of my car and cut him off.
This MoFo did the "Ali-shuffle-walter-payton-OJ" fucking moves to fake me out but I dug into my ancient football history book on this motherfucker and slammed his ass. I was honorable mention All America 2 year in college!
But oh no, he didn't go done! He kept his balance even though he looked like he was going to bust his ass and kept on running. I still got speed!!!!!
I caught up to him again and went to slam him and he knew I had him and he stopped and begged like a bitch. "Please man, I need money." I'm thinking "so do I motherfucker, didn't you see my auction on GFY".
I bowed up big like I was going to bust him in his fucking mouth and punked this bitch into dropping the purse. I made him back up and then I got the purse and let him walk.
Yeah, I let him walk because he kept going for his pocket like he had a knife or something. So, I regret I didn't hold him for the cops.
But the main thing is I got the purse and the lady didn't lose her ID and credit cards. She was from Arkansas and would have been fucked trying to get back on a plane without her ID.
She hugged me and gave me $10. Yes, I took the fucking money wiseass.
That's drinking money 'round here. hehehe!
Anyway, WOW! what a fucking nice adreneline rush to catch a purse snatcher and I got paid for that!!! Geese! life is getting to be too easy.
I could have gotten killed but fuck it man, the rush is just too good.
Well, I got to go to the bar now and brag about it and get drunk.
Fuck that humble shit; I'm going to brag all fucking night and I'm going to hit all the bars.