If I were you Naughty, I'd have a look at something Evil Dan's got just about ready to release so far as I know -- it's quite a bit more feature wise than anything else on the market -- and combines alot of payment processing options, tons of good ideas, and an all around good situation.
I'd email
[email protected] and tell him you'd like a demo and to know when it's going to be ready -- before I shelled out a dime to anyone else.
As for processors, from the standpoint of reliability, uptime, and service, CCBill is the way to go.
They've never paid anyone late, never failed to pay reserves, the whole thing. IBill would be my second choice, but I can see your frustration with them at the moment...