My only true role model in life...
I heard if you Google "Bundy family" +sex, that occasionally you may find a funny fake photo.
Some wisdom from Al...
* I never wanted to get married, I got married.
Never wanted kids, I have 2 of them. Why the
hell am I here?
* I'm not paying for mistakes.
I've been doing that since I got married.
* I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito
in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money
out of my wallet.
* This is my week off, so pack up,
get the kids and I'll see you in a week.
* We all have to live with our disappointments...
I have to sleep with mine.
* Life didn't pass me by, it sat on my head.
* Love is not only blind but stupid.
* Computers and women are ruining the country.
* Dead men don't wake up yelling 'don't'.
* If you want to have sex, the kids have to leave,
and if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave.
* I'm so upset I can hardly eat this sandwich.
* Come on baby. We've got things to do;
eyes to blindfold and babies to make.
* You see kids, it was a dream and you were replaced by
two sixpacks in the refridgerator.
* Run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist.
* It never quite the same when you're sober, is it?
* I will show him the same kind of respect that any father would
show a 41 year old man who dates his teenage daughter.
* You've desecrated the toilet I call home!
* Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the
happiest day of my life.
* Oh mighty one in the heavens who created the mountains,
the seas and beer...
* I don't HAVE to go to sleep after sex.
I WANT to go to sleep after sex. I welcome the darkness.
* I would rather sleep in a bunk-bed under Oprah!
* I'm sorry Peg. I saw some underwear I just had to have.
* I wouldn't rub your feet if a genie popped out of them.
* Kids take a good long look.
This is worth a thousand condom commercials.
* Where's my remote control !?!
* I left high-school, lost the will to live and here I am...
* I'm gonna give this to the only one I truly love... me!
* Laugh at this, hyenas!
* There is so much that I wanna say to you but there's a show
coming on that I wanna watch.
* Why doesn't the world die?
* The only power I sensed was that of the mighty forces
unleashed by beans.
* Please, Peg, if you have any feelings for me, don't make me
make love to you.
* A man's home is his coffin.
* What was I thinking when I said 'I do' ?
I'd already had sex with her so I didn't need that again.
* The opera isn't over until the last heterosexual falls asleep.
* This is not a recorded message. I'm a human being, damn it!
* I begged for the death-penalty but they insisted
that I'd learn a lesson.
* I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up
to have a nightmare.
* Pretty good for a guy stupid enough to marry you, huh ?
* If I could just help one kid not marry, my job is done.
* Take me to your finest bathroom!
* Ah, home sweet hell.
* Christmas is not the time for regrets.
That's what anniversaries are for.
* I can't sleep with that damn woman in my bed!
* If you need me I'll be at the nudie bar.
* Peg, you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs,
you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex but there's
no way on earth you can make me get a second job.
* I've lived and I've loved... later on I even married.
* It gets better each time as long as it's never with the same woman.
* Well, I chalked up some more frequent loser miles today.
* I've got a woman so lame that she actually thinks that when I
groan during sex it has anything to do with her.
* Insurance is like marriage.
You pay and pay but you never get anything back.
* Oh, Lord, if I ever meant anything to you,
please let me fall asleep before she thinks of sex.
* A man is a man all his life.
A woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife.
ADG Webmaster