SurfDog

A guy is standing in line at the supermarket when a nice looking blonde
behind him smiles and says hello. He's a bit surprised and can't place
where he might know her from so he says "Sorry - do you know me?"

She says - "I'm not sure, but I thought you might be the father of one
of my children."

His mind races back to the one and only time he's been unfaithful and
says "Holy crap - are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed
on the pool table in front of my friends while your girlfriend whipped me
with wet celery then stuck a cucumber up my ass?"

"No", she replied, "I'm your son's English teacher."