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You gotta play stupide with people like that
see pretend you are tawnee;
"Oh mister, I don't know how to make mpegs, what is that? Me and my sister do all the photographs with our boyfriend. I only have real player on my 486 computer, do you need something else to have an mpeg?
Please don't be mad at me mister, I don't know much about computers.
My sister is looking for a boyfriend would you send her a picture of yourself?"
Then phone the cc processor and tell them that this user is a high chargeback risk, and get him banned
Then have the graphics guys photoshop his head to a naked fat guy and post it all over the newsgroups
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