jawanda

I have never been in a fist fight ... not since I've been old enough to actually do some damage. I have always been one to avoid conflict if possible, simply because I fuckin' hate real life drama, and I think 98% of it is pointless bullshit.

But lately I've been feeling the edge. I'm sick of being the nice guy all the time, looking out for others well being, ducking corners in order to avoid conflict. FUCK THAT.

Don't get me wrong, in essence that's how I want to continue to live my life because it's the only way that rings true with my soul (not being a PUSSY, but being what I consider a real human being), but there is also the part of me that wants to FIGHT.

I live in Lake Tahoe, a small VERY mellllllooooow town. I've been passing the word to my friends (and some virtual strangers) that we should start a 'fight club' . Not like the movie ... we'd probably wear gloves and it would be more of a "boxing club" in the woods lol ... with beer. But long story short, I have come to find that I am not the only one who feels this way. Not by a long shot.

Goddamn, we are a bunch of pussified mellow hippy douches up here. And although I believe in the overall "rightness" of the way we live ... what the fuck happened to being MEN?

We are "sensitive" guys ... GOOD, NICE guys ... and that's all fucking great. But us "nice guys" take the brunt of society, of LIFE, harder than the mindless assholes who are not afraid to get dirty ... not because we want to, but because we'd rather live like that than make someone else suffer or feel uncomfortable. Is that the right way? I don't know. But what I do know is that there are a LOT of us around, and we need to remember WHY we do this by choice. Remember that it IS a choice, and not just some twisted lot in life that we are stuck with.

Ok, this was a slightly drunken ramble, but hopefully you get the point.

I know some of you KNOW what the fuck I'm saying.

FUCK.

-Phil