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Melanie · 06-30-2005, 01:52 AM

Geee for me its choice as a transsexual.......

I LOVE to take highly dangerous drugs that can kill me from a range of factors and almost have done a few times. I love the fear of increasing my risk of cancer, strokes, heart disease, liver malfunctions, kidney disea and even an increased risk of psychosis from one of the drugs.

I LOVE to hear abuse from almost everyone when I walk down a street. Even old tramps and vagrants come out of their cardboard boxes to abuse me sometimes. It makes me feel so good.

I LOVE being discriminated against - being vetoed from jobs and having people laugh at me behind my back. I also LOVE the fact that I am almost entirely without rights - until recently even rape cannot be held as a charge against a man who attacks me.

I LOVED losing all of my friends and family when I came out - of course I also loved living in fear for almost 20 years of my life. I loved the suicide attempts, the depressions and the days when I prayed to God to let me die.

I LOVED hurting my parents and seeing their pain when the child they raised became dead to them when I started transition.

I LOVED being attacked by homophobic thugs who smashed my ribs, broke a leg, an arm, one of my wrists and fractured my skull abnd left me for dead when I was 18.

I LOVED my neighbours telling people when I was in my 20s that I was queer and a child molester and I loved the fact that they used up their own time to run a hate campaign against me that ran to throwing bricks through my windows and smashing up my car almost nightly.

Most of all I LOVE having to tell the occasional guy who shows an interest - listen sweetie - theres something you should now - I just love how that makes me feel.

I LOVE the fact I have had to have 3 major operations - each one scarier than the last, Playing russian roulette under general anaesthetic and long periods of pain and recovery in one case lasting 16 weeks.

Thank God we transsexuals keep it mostly quiet - I'd hate to think other people may get to find out just how good it is cos then they'd all want to join in.

Choice ? Dont make me laugh NO-ONE would choose it. To anyone who thinks its a choice thing juyst go along for one single session of electrolysis on your face- then tell me you;d be happy to have maybe 200 hours worth of that treatment and see if you think you would ever 'choose' to do that to yourself.

There was one choice I had in my life - transition and live as a woman as best as I can or kill myself and you know what - sometimjes I wonder if I chose right. The other options always there for any of us.

Transsexual woman have a mortality rate of over 65% - Suicide gets most of us - the rest go under when drug treatments go wrong but a sizeable number of us are killed each year in hate attacks.

Mel

06-30-2005, 01:52 AM
Melanie Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: London,UK Posts: 21	Geee for me its choice as a transsexual....... I LOVE to take highly dangerous drugs that can kill me from a range of factors and almost have done a few times. I love the fear of increasing my risk of cancer, strokes, heart disease, liver malfunctions, kidney disea and even an increased risk of psychosis from one of the drugs. I LOVE to hear abuse from almost everyone when I walk down a street. Even old tramps and vagrants come out of their cardboard boxes to abuse me sometimes. It makes me feel so good. I LOVE being discriminated against - being vetoed from jobs and having people laugh at me behind my back. I also LOVE the fact that I am almost entirely without rights - until recently even rape cannot be held as a charge against a man who attacks me. I LOVED losing all of my friends and family when I came out - of course I also loved living in fear for almost 20 years of my life. I loved the suicide attempts, the depressions and the days when I prayed to God to let me die. I LOVED hurting my parents and seeing their pain when the child they raised became dead to them when I started transition. I LOVED being attacked by homophobic thugs who smashed my ribs, broke a leg, an arm, one of my wrists and fractured my skull abnd left me for dead when I was 18. I LOVED my neighbours telling people when I was in my 20s that I was queer and a child molester and I loved the fact that they used up their own time to run a hate campaign against me that ran to throwing bricks through my windows and smashing up my car almost nightly. Most of all I LOVE having to tell the occasional guy who shows an interest - listen sweetie - theres something you should now - I just love how that makes me feel. I LOVE the fact I have had to have 3 major operations - each one scarier than the last, Playing russian roulette under general anaesthetic and long periods of pain and recovery in one case lasting 16 weeks. Thank God we transsexuals keep it mostly quiet - I'd hate to think other people may get to find out just how good it is cos then they'd all want to join in. Choice ? Dont make me laugh NO-ONE would choose it. To anyone who thinks its a choice thing juyst go along for one single session of electrolysis on your face- then tell me you;d be happy to have maybe 200 hours worth of that treatment and see if you think you would ever 'choose' to do that to yourself. There was one choice I had in my life - transition and live as a woman as best as I can or kill myself and you know what - sometimjes I wonder if I chose right. The other options always there for any of us. Transsexual woman have a mortality rate of over 65% - Suicide gets most of us - the rest go under when drug treatments go wrong but a sizeable number of us are killed each year in hate attacks. Mel __________________ There are some people who say I have never done anything wrong in my life - of course they only say that behind my back