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Marcus · 06-29-2005, 07:58 PM

Believe me, its 100% genetic, or something that I have no decision in or control over.

I have no idea why im gay. Parents are both straight and had blue collar jobs. My uncles were construction workers, but for some reason when I was younger and me and my friends would look at dirty mags Id always be looking at the guys.
Id comment on how hot the girls are so they wouldn't suspect, but id be looking at the guys.

I dont know why I'm gay. When I look at a woman I might as well be looking at a brick wall. I think Pam Anderson is sexy but I dont get a boner for her.
Itsd like a straight person looking at another guy. There's nothing there that's exciting to you about it. Thats the way it is with me and a woman.

Its not politically correct to say this but fuck it, I definetely didn't want this because I had very little friends growing up. I was in the closet and tried to cover it up but people knew there was something different about me.
I ate lunch by myself in high school for 4 years. Being gay was a fucking nightmare.
I didnt like hiding from family and coworkers. I still have dreams about school. It was torture.

And people think I chose this? Theyre idiots.

Always dodging questions about having a girlfriend and when am I going to get married, etc etc.
I fucking hated going to work and getting cornered with fucking god damn questions about my personal life. I had no rapport with coworkers.

I finally met one girl at work who was from nyc and she asked me and i said yes and then she was nice but she was TOO nice, and I felt like a retard, like i was some kind of puppy to her. It was just dumb.

I grew up catholic so I have a shitload of guilt around that.

I could try to be straight but the feelings arent there. Like a bald guy wearing a toupee, its not real and not genuine, its just a lie.

So trust me, being gay isnt all about parties and sucking cock and parades and manicures and having good hair.
There can be a lot of guilt and baggage and shit with it too.

06-29-2005, 07:58 PM
Marcus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,472	Believe me, its 100% genetic, or something that I have no decision in or control over. I have no idea why im gay. Parents are both straight and had blue collar jobs. My uncles were construction workers, but for some reason when I was younger and me and my friends would look at dirty mags Id always be looking at the guys. Id comment on how hot the girls are so they wouldn't suspect, but id be looking at the guys. I dont know why I'm gay. When I look at a woman I might as well be looking at a brick wall. I think Pam Anderson is sexy but I dont get a boner for her. Itsd like a straight person looking at another guy. There's nothing there that's exciting to you about it. Thats the way it is with me and a woman. Its not politically correct to say this but fuck it, I definetely didn't want this because I had very little friends growing up. I was in the closet and tried to cover it up but people knew there was something different about me. I ate lunch by myself in high school for 4 years. Being gay was a fucking nightmare. I didnt like hiding from family and coworkers. I still have dreams about school. It was torture. And people think I chose this? Theyre idiots. Always dodging questions about having a girlfriend and when am I going to get married, etc etc. I fucking hated going to work and getting cornered with fucking god damn questions about my personal life. I had no rapport with coworkers. I finally met one girl at work who was from nyc and she asked me and i said yes and then she was nice but she was TOO nice, and I felt like a retard, like i was some kind of puppy to her. It was just dumb. I grew up catholic so I have a shitload of guilt around that. I could try to be straight but the feelings arent there. Like a bald guy wearing a toupee, its not real and not genuine, its just a lie. So trust me, being gay isnt all about parties and sucking cock and parades and manicures and having good hair. There can be a lot of guilt and baggage and shit with it too.