06-20-2005, 03:17 PM
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Mile High State
Posts: 935
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2 thumbs up! Great Story - "I don't even like porn sites"
I laughed so hard when I read this story:
Posted on Craigslist.com:
Quote:
I think porn sites are disgusting and vile but curiosity got me today and I paid dearly for it.
After 6 months of no luck on CL and 2 years of not getting laid, I have decided that my sexual peek (if you could call it that) is long over. I have always been the guy to advocate for woman, respect them, treat them right, and never take advantage of them. This hasn?t worked. I spend every Valentine?s Day alone while every macho jerk has a girlfriend and one on the side.
I gave up.
I haven?t seen a naked breast in years. So I opened up the Internet Browser and went to an Asian porn site (hey, I?m white). I found the site crude and crass; yet very intriguing. I try to find a way to justify looking at it but I can?t. I was being a pervert for the first time in my life and enjoying it too much. I could feel myself pushing out of suit pants. I better not stand up.
OH SHIT!
My boss starts to walk in my office talking to me. I give a panic looked and quickly X out my browser window. My boss gives me that ?no big deal but what did I just catch you doing look?. He is a really great guy. He walks up to where I am sitting and can now see my computer luckily I closed in time and maximized my email. I sit looking at him intently on what he has to say. Oblivious, I don?t realize over my shoulder is an animated picture of an Asian girl sticking a dildo into her crotch; back and forth, back and forth, on a repeated loop.
?Need some privacy?? He smirks.
I turn around to the horror show. My stomach drops, a cold sweat instantly hits me, as the shock of embarrassment and shame I haven?t felt since confession slap me in the face. I quickly grab my mouse and close the window. I can?t even speak or look at him. I let out a meek
?Sorry? In a hurt voice like a ten-year old boy getting caught for stealing from Mom?s purse.
?Ughhh, Ughhh, Ughhh, Fook Me! Fook Me!? I hear my computer moaning.
It?s a very graphic flash animation asking me to ?Sign Up Now!? It just popped up in another fucking window! I close it and another pops up and another. They?re fucking making noises now. I fumble with volume on the side of laptop and successfully turn it off. But my Boss is still standing over me, looking ever displeased. I have never seen this man a bit upset in his life, but I can feel a very bad vibe. A look up and there?s a black chick with man juice all over her face. Panicked I slam down my laptop monitor into keyboard so it could no longer be viewed.
?I?ll come back when you?re not so busy? He grumbles.
As he leaves I open my monitor back up. It?s cracked right down the center. How do I ask them to fix this? I am honestly going to cry.
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