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An airline's passenger cabin was being served by a gay flight attendant who put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super." On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, sophisticated woman hadn't moved. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one." To which the flight attendant replied, "Well honey, in my country I'm called a Queen, so . TRAY UP BIZNATCH!
A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?" The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man says, "And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed."
Why can't Helen Keller read?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't Ray Charles read?
Because he's black.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
Because he doesn't know he's black.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
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