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Old 06-13-2005, 10:38 PM  
machinegunkelly
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Join Date: Jun 2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daveylapoo
Interesting...

After designing sites for local bands and such for a couple years for no bread, getting into adult was awesome. Quit the main job, Great money, be your own boss, etc. Exceeded my wildest expectations.

However, a year or so into it the novelty of the money/freedom begins to wear off and you're left with the realization of what it is that one is doing. 'I am' a pornographer. Certainly never what I set out to do.

I have a 4 year old son. Love of my life....and oh... how he loves his daddy.

I also have a great father, whom I admire, respect, and idolize. He spent his life serving the public, and I couldn't be prouder to call him my dad.

I guess what it boils down to, is how I want my son to look at me as he grows older. Is my 'job' - a masquaraded series of lies and deceit something that 'he' will be proud of...brag to his friends about?

I've been working my buns off the past 6 months getting numerous mainstream projects off the ground. Hopefully, within the next couple years I will be able to 'hang up' the adult biz, as you say, and focus on work that I can be more 'proud' of, and hopefully leave a legacy my son will be proud of also.
Exactly what I find myself thinking .
When my kid has " go to work day " he's gotta go with grampa instead of me .

My father is a respected government slave , gave his entire life to the government for nothing more than to feed his kids .

I have more respect than he would ever know , and so does pretty much anyone that knows him ..
When he is on his death bed he will be able to close his eyes and know he " played the game " just like he told me my whole life ....... " you gotta play the game kelly " he did well for himself even though nothing was on his side his whole life .

Some times I wonder if when I am on my death bed I will be able to do the same .
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