Homer: "Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
Homer: "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"
Homer: "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get."
Homer: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love."
