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I like the phrases "The sound quality is nearly indistinguishable from a traditional phone service. " and the entire section about 9-11 dialing and how they don't take any responsibility if you die because their 9-11 service doesn't connect to a 'traditional 9-11 operator' but rather some gay emergency system access point that only works 9-5 and not if your power or internet goes out or if you have 'network congestion'.
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