Q: I just upgraded to Tiger and there's something seriously wrong with my machine.
A: Oh? What would that be?
Q: Well, it was a 1 GHz Power Mac G4.
A: And... what is it now?
Q: Well, it appears to be a Spanish exchange student named Esteban.
A: Uhhh... huh.
Q: Yeah. You can see why I'm a little baffled.
A: Well... have you tried reinstalling?
Q: Several times. And let me tell you, Esteban doesn't like that.
A: I can imagine.
Q: I tried taking it... him... to my local Apple Store, but the Genius doesn't speak Spanish.
A: Well, the only thing I can suggest is restoring from a backup. Do you have a backup?
Q: I did back up to a Firewire drive before installing, but... where would I put the cable in?
A: Oooh... Esteban is not going to like that either.
Q: This is really weird because I just upgraded to Tiger and now my Mac is a Swedish exchange student named Inga.
A: Hmm. What kind of machine was it?
Q: A dual 2.7 GHz Power Mac G5.
A: I see. That makes a very compelling case for upgrading your hardware.
Q: Well, it does, but I really just want my Mac back.
A: OK. Reboot Inga holding down the shift key and try a clean install. And don't install the Swedish language pack.
Q: OK... but...
A: What?
Q: Isn't there some way I could have both my Mac and Inga?
A: No. No. No one should have both a dual 2.7 GHz Power Mac G5 and a Swedish exchange student named Inga. That's bullshit.
Q: OK. OK. I hear you.
A: Greedy bullshit is what that is.
Q: Well, I was going to upgrade to Tiger, but with all this hardware turning into foreign exchange students, now I'm not so sure.
A: What kind of hardware do you have?
Q: I was going to upgrade two 12-inch 1.5 GHz PowerBook G4s.
A: Hmm. Hmmmmm...
Q: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
A: I am if you're thinking twin Thai exchange students named Mai and Sunee.
Q: I am indeed. Now... where did I put that disk?
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