I don't want to read this whole thread, I read some of it so if I repeat somebody sorry about that. Cats do best when trained with squirt bottles when kittens. Make sure they don't see you directly spray them, if they scratch on a couch or get on the table do this, while your not at home, leave the squirt bottle on the table or in a problem area, they will leave it alone. I trained my cats like this and for the most part they are good, no table jumping, no couch scratching and so on. Usually saying no when kittens works too but sometimes they don't listen.
Get a kitten or a cat from a shelter, thats the best way to go, I prefer male cats, they are more cuddly and have less of an attitude, but you must get them neutered. Litter box training is simple, they usually go right to it.
Good luck! I am glad that most people haven't experienced problems with newborns, I am always afriad when I have kids I will have to get rid of the cats
