GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum - View Single Post - How would you deal with something like this? (relationship situation)

galleryseek · 05-13-2005, 09:53 PM

I've been w/ my gf for 3 years now, and we kinda did what some couples do n' really stop hangin out w/ their friends from like 100% of the time down to 5%... All of her friends were guys, because aside from her 2 sisters, she grew up around guys cause her cousins / neighbors were all guys etc... so she's never been able to relate w/ girls too much.

Well recently she's been getting sick of our "routine" and one of her old guy friends called her up recently. Now this particular guy is one she happened to mention of something like this before, "Well ask all of the girl's in Warren what they think of him" (referring to him being attractive) -- that irked me at the time but later on she told me she only said it to get me mad... She also dated him when they were young like 13 yrs old, so obviously what she said had some basis behind it.

So he got in contact w/ her and they hung out recently, that didn't really bother me all that much cause I understand old friends get together from time to time to "catch up"... But now she's hanging out with him more consistently like a couple times a week n' she swears it's just because she has no other friends and it's nice to be able to do something "else" (because we're with each other every day).

Now here is the problem... Aside from lifting partners I really don't go out and socialize with people (most of my friends have been away for several years at college)... So having been through the same routine, for these three years, and NOW dealing with this change (however small it may seem) - psychologically it feels like a big change. I'm sitting at home when I'd like to be with her, when she's "hanging out" with her friends (well, friend - that particular guy)... So having the time to myself, I naturally begin to ....THINK, which is bad, because then I end up materializing scenarios based on the shit i know of this particular guy and get myself wound up, and lately it has made me pretty irritable. I try to not think about it by running miles on end and lifting hard, but that is just a temporary fix.

She's 18 and I'm basically the only guy she has been with (I'm 21) - A lot of people say you should never carry on a serious relationship in hopes of marriage when one or the other has never been with anyone else -- I personally think that is bullshit. In these 3 years she has also never cheated on me and I know she never will.

So keeping in mind that you know you can't take the route of being the "CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND" (because I would never do that), how would you react/feel in a situation like this? I want to know if how I'm feeling is result of my own ignorance and/or insecurities, or if this is something that would bother most other guys as well.

(sorry, I tried to keep it short ;))

05-13-2005, 09:53 PM
galleryseek Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 8,234	How would you deal with something like this? (relationship situation) I've been w/ my gf for 3 years now, and we kinda did what some couples do n' really stop hangin out w/ their friends from like 100% of the time down to 5%... All of her friends were guys, because aside from her 2 sisters, she grew up around guys cause her cousins / neighbors were all guys etc... so she's never been able to relate w/ girls too much. Well recently she's been getting sick of our "routine" and one of her old guy friends called her up recently. Now this particular guy is one she happened to mention of something like this before, "Well ask all of the girl's in Warren what they think of him" (referring to him being attractive) -- that irked me at the time but later on she told me she only said it to get me mad... She also dated him when they were young like 13 yrs old, so obviously what she said had some basis behind it. So he got in contact w/ her and they hung out recently, that didn't really bother me all that much cause I understand old friends get together from time to time to "catch up"... But now she's hanging out with him more consistently like a couple times a week n' she swears it's just because she has no other friends and it's nice to be able to do something "else" (because we're with each other every day). Now here is the problem... Aside from lifting partners I really don't go out and socialize with people (most of my friends have been away for several years at college)... So having been through the same routine, for these three years, and NOW dealing with this change (however small it may seem) - psychologically it feels like a big change. I'm sitting at home when I'd like to be with her, when she's "hanging out" with her friends (well, friend - that particular guy)... So having the time to myself, I naturally begin to ....THINK, which is bad, because then I end up materializing scenarios based on the shit i know of this particular guy and get myself wound up, and lately it has made me pretty irritable. I try to not think about it by running miles on end and lifting hard, but that is just a temporary fix. She's 18 and I'm basically the only guy she has been with (I'm 21) - A lot of people say you should never carry on a serious relationship in hopes of marriage when one or the other has never been with anyone else -- I personally think that is bullshit. In these 3 years she has also never cheated on me and I know she never will. So keeping in mind that you know you can't take the route of being the "CONTROLLING BOYFRIEND" (because I would never do that), how would you react/feel in a situation like this? I want to know if how I'm feeling is result of my own ignorance and/or insecurities, or if this is something that would bother most other guys as well. (sorry, I tried to keep it short ;))