The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and then supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners....(None of them get through spell check.)
INTAXICATION: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
REINTARNATION: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
BOZONE (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. the bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
FOREPLOY: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
CASHTRATION (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
GIRAFFITI: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
SARCHASM: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
HIPATITIS: Terminal coolness.
OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
KARMAGEDDON: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
DECAFALON (n): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
GLIBIDO: All talk and no action.
DOPELER EFFECT: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
BEELZEBUG (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
CATERPALLOR (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
.......and the pick of the literature......
IGNORANUS: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
