The Slicer
"Mr Kruger" was my favorite character.
[Kruger's. Kramer is examining Mr. Kruger.]
Kramer: Male mammal. Approximately 30 to 60 years of age. Weight...uh indeterminate. Ok, Mr. Kruger, we are gonna take a photo now for the records. So if you'll stand up please and give me a big smile, oh no no no, not that big. Yeah, that's nice, yes okay. Yes, let's have a looksee...ok, so eh, fiber from shirt on the left shoulder. I'm gonna have to keep my on that.
Kruger: How long have you been doing this Dr. Van Nostrand?
Kramer: Uuh, long long time. Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.
Kruger: So, how am I looking?
Kramer: Oh, so far, so good...[looks at Mr. Kruger's shoulder] yeuye...
[Kramer comes out to talk to George.]
George: Kramer, I really owe you one.
Kramer: George, we got a problem.
George: What?
Kramer: Well, he's got a mole on his shoulder. Very suspicious.
George: So, tell him you're concerned about it and he should see someone else.
Kramer: George, why would I, a Juilliard trained dermatologist, send him to another doctor?
George: Because, you're not a dermatologist.
Kramer: He thinks I am. I'm not gonna betray that trust. Here's what I wanna do; I think I can get a section...
George: Whoa, whoa, a section?!
Kramer: Yeah, if I could grab my slicer and he'd hold still...
George: No, you're not taking a deli slicer to my boss...
Kramer: It'll be operative thing, he would barely feel it.
George: No! Absolutely Not!
Kramer: Well, it's my medical opinion, that you're making a big mistake. And it's going in my chart.