I kinda love myself right now, so I'll share..... Our hosting is healthy for you!
Our hosting uses no artificial flavors, colors, additives, or preservatives. Our servers are naturally low in sodium, and cholesterol free.
* Our server's patented non-stick coating is guaranteed for the life of the site.
* Our hosting doesn't just cover up odors, it stops them at the source!
* Our support is completely colorsafe for all fabrics.
* Our server's patented "Gripper LockŪ" seal guarantees freshness.
* Our support's pages are perforated for easy removal.
* Our pile of old retired motherboards degrades naturally in America's landfills.
* Our network uses only fresh ingredients, never frozen.
* Our techs stay crispy in milk!
* Our site reduces static cling by 50%!
* With our hosting you can choose paper or plastic.
* Our site freshens breath without that mediciney aftertaste.
* No SplitInfinity salesman will ever call on you at home.
* Our support staff doesn't leave that flaky white stuff on your clothes.
* No animals are needlessly maimed during the assembly of our servers.
* Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend our hosting to their patients that chew gum.
* Our server's patented "Be-DriŪ" lining keeps moisture away from baby's tender skin.
* Our CEO buys in bulk and passes the savings along to you.
* In all the years our hosting has been here (since 1994), we've never once incorrectly predicted the outcome of a Major League Baseball game.
* Nine out of ten doctors, asked if stranded on a desert island, what host would they hope their site is with, replied "SplitInfinity" Nine out of ten doctors, actually stranded on a desert island, could not be reached for comment.
Here are some real comments we made up to bolster our opinion of how good a hosting company we have:
Bogul S. Purvy says: "After perusing the site, I was able to recall that in a previous life I was illiterate, and reminisce fondly."
Fogarty Weffing opines: "SplitInfinity hosting makes even canned meat products palatable!"
Mary Doke writes: "Their hosting has that full, rich aroma I'd normally expect to pay more for."
Jared Oopf tells us: "I found my wife on a SplitInfinity Dedicated Server in the public_html directory. I don't know what she was doing there--I thought she was at work!"
AIM: NJesterIII
ICQ: 64791506