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Without hearing her side of the story (that is, from her), it sounds like she has difficulty giving up the "old" life. I've never been a jealous or controlling type in any way as it's just not my nature, so I may not be the ideal authority ... But for me, the belief is that my gf is a free person - I have no rights over who she is, what she does or who she wants to spend her time with.
Imo:
Jealousy comes from insecurity
Insecurity is a sign of weakness
What woman really wants a jealous -> insecure -> weak man?
If you are strong and secure about yourself then you would project that onto your relationship. You shouldn't feel threatened by who she sees or chats with online as it's ultimately her decision and she'll be the most affected by her choices. In the end, it's her life.
(One caveat: From past experience a little (very little) jealousy is sometimes required as I've had exes accuse me of not caring - *because* I didn't act jealous! Geesh, someone ought to write a book ... )
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