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1. They drink water as if its no longer in existance THEN have to stop at every 3rd
store to take a piss.
2. If you are in a group of 3 or more women and 1 of them orders a salad the others will have salad also... Its a fact Ive seen this countless times man with my wife and her friends.
3. Men go out with their friends to the pub to have a few pints and can wear the same outfit your buddies have seen you in for the last 3 years. WOMEN have to get an entire new outfit to go out with the same girls they see all the time and in fact went shopping to get the outfit to go out drinking in that night, NEVER shall they be seen twice in said outfit.
4. Am I fat?..... If I had a nickel for each time my wife asked me this. She could hide behind floss and still asks me this question. Bravely or stupidly Ive said, yes to see the results.... its not pretty and usually resulted in $250 in shoes being bought for her as my pennance.
5. Elimination or shunning of the " pretty girl " - your buddy comes around with a new girlfriend that happens to be really cute. The rest of the existing girlfriends / wives will be nice to her, hang out, trade #'s and all that shit... THEN... rip her apart on all points ( hair was slutty, outfit looked slutty, slutty shoes, slutty makeup, slutty car, etc) when she's not there and let YOU know how much they all hate this new babe in the circle of friends.
There is 1 exception to this rule *IF* the new girl is uglier than the other women or 30+ pounds more than the other babes she's cool and all is well. The existing babes will totally love her and now know where to score even more sundae's and shit.
6. Something you do fucked up as a guy, she has to let the world know via calling all her friends + family that she has somehow managed to find the stupidest man alive. If You did that to her, you'd wake up with no balls..... Why they do this, I'll never know.
7. Attracted to you for certain reasons at first that she funds really great and wonderful. Flash forward 2 years and these traits about you drive her up the wall.
8. Putting a hair tie around the gearshift of my truck. What the f*** is that about?
9. Asking you to dust the entire house, clean up everything and then make a cheese + veggie tray for your buddies that are coming over to party. We're just going to head into the basement to drink at the basement fridge and smoke bowls... My friends never thought of food in addition to beer + dope being there.... They certainly dont care if my carpets' been deodorized or the linens are fresh..... You have seen their places??!?!?!?!??!..... I wouldnt even take my shoes off in their pads, lol......
10. Are we going anywhere? -- this applies to realtionships in general. When asked this question about " where is our relationship going" Ive been tempted to say " looks like were in hell at the momment, maybe Cleveland is next? ".... But, I have come to learn that means somehow the things in her life that she never finished are your fault. So what if these things in her life were 20 years before you met, still its your fault.
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