thefool

you say that like its a bad thing


Speaking of the bible... today we were visited by 2 Mormons. My mother, god rest her soul (she's not dead yet, but after today its just a matter of time before something happes to her brakes) let them in the door!

I saw them pull up out front, and said, shit, the mormons are here. My sister laughed, my mom thought it was the FBI! I said, its a holiday, they cant come here on EASTER, can they? Maybe its just bill collectors that can't harass you on a Sunday... what a shitty law... anyhow...

So they pull up out front, being the smartass that I am, I grabbed the bible off of the bookshelf, and the BBQ lighter from the utility drawer. I went to the front door (before they got to it, they were still at the neighbors porch next door) and I said "when they knock at the door I'm gonna pretend to hold you for ransom." I held the bible up in front of me and I lit the lighter close to it and said, "LEAVE, DONT MAKE ME DO IT!" We were laughing when they rang the bell, so I came in my office and started listening to Godsmack & Disturbed. I went to get a drink and was forced to be pleasant. They asked me if I was a Christian or if I was interested in learning about the Mormon religion. I said, "no thanks, I'm Pagan." They looked at each other then he said, "we're not here to change you, just to educate you" and I said "I'm a witch and I can read, send me to a website and I'll check it out later." and left the room. LOL Oh well, I'm a bitch!

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