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Tala · 02-08-2005, 12:58 PM

Not bad!

However: " her female master bounds her" "binds" not "bounds" and there's something inherently wrong with a "female master." But hey, whatever sells, I guess.

"clits" needs an apostrophe.

"frezy" you need an n in there.

Otherwise it looks good.

02-08-2005, 12:58 PM
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Not bad! However: " her female master bounds her" "binds" not "bounds" and there's something inherently wrong with a "female master." But hey, whatever sells, I guess. "clits" needs an apostrophe. "frezy" you need an n in there. Otherwise it looks good. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.