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JHHM- You have to realize that the people on this board will be biased in their opinion because it's an adult message board. Some people may view your behavior as making a mountain out of a mole hill but no one really knows what really went on in the 9 years of your relationship so you have a right to feel upset, BUT I think your actions are unjustified. Printing out 200 pages of his posts is uncalled for AND he shouldn't have to tell you about his user name but if he mentions it, then cool! This is an adult message board---Don't expect anyone here to show any empathy for you.
As for the topic of chatting with other chics, depending on the type of chat, if it's innocent fun with no intentions of pursuing anything further, then there is no harm...but if you chat with some one of the opposite sex for hours at length and have regular scheduled chat sessions everyday and it's purely non business related or on a friendship level, THEN there's a problem! Online communication is no different than having a phone conversation except that it's easier, safe, has less potential risks, and it's FREE!
If instant messaging, ICQs, emails, or chat forums didn't exist...most people probably wouldn't even bother to take the time or pay the dime to phone someone who is not in their circle. This whole online realm has taken the extra-relational affairs to another level.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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