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Oddly enough the christian bible does contain instructions (directly given by the central god character) on how to take a dump. And it does not make pleasant reading -- for one thing, personal hygene is totally absent! See Deuteronomy 23:13 for all the gory details.
"Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp..." - Isaiah 16:11
"My Bowels, my bowels!" - Jeremiah 4:19
"...refresh my bowels in the Lord." Philemon 1:20
Chunky
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