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Some causes of death I would hate to see listed:
*Lose balance during earthquake and fall onto plunger handle and die 6 weeks later from infected stomach wound.
*Walk thru field and step on 50+ year old bomb carried from Japan by giant weather balloon during final stages of WWII.
*Trying to imitate Ron Jeremy and crack your neck and suffocate while trying to suck your own cock.
*Choke on an ice cube.
*Rear-end Mike Tyson's car and then call him Sambo when he threatens you.
*Get drunk in Haiti one night and fuck 20 cheap hookers with needle marks in their arms and do it WITHOUT a condom.
*Walk into a propeller of a vintage plane while at an airshow (ala the big bald Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark).
*Gored in the groin while being chased by bull down a Spanish street.
*Try lighting a really gaseous fart and having your bowels ruptured.
*Eating 14 month old mystery meat in the back of the fridge.
*Fall asleep and slump over while doing taxes and pencil pokes thru your eyeball and into your brain.
Luckily I will only die of cancer or heart failure June 2, 2039 at the young age of 68.
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Old School
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