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This reminds of a true story years a few years ago. A friend of mine was on a work/study at a fire station (yes, he was studying to become a fireman) and they got a call in the middle of winter from some frantic Indian man claiming his house was on fire.
When they got there they found his driveway smouldering but thankfully, the house wasn't touched. They asked what happened and he told them (in a thick Indian accent of course) that the bloody-kiss-me-ass snow was too high and so he poured gasoline over this driveway and lit a match.
Unfortunately, the Indian man was unharmed.
Darwin, where are you????
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