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What's the difference between dog shit and ******s?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What's the difference between a ****** and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
******s.
Why don't sharks eat ******s?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a ****** in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do ******s cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a ****** from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a ****** out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the ****** who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do ******s stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a ****** and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't ******s take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do ****** kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a ******s idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a Gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't ****** kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of ******s?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no ****** astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piņata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a ****** on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 ******s at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a ******s life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
******s trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do ******s keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a ******?
What is a ******?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead ****** in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into ******s.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A ****** and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A ****** and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The spic, because the ****** had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many ******s does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a ****** and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a ******?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a ****** with a Harvard education?
******.
What do you call a ****** in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a ****** and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a ****** bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't ****** women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have ******s and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are ******s like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
Niger ****** ******.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of ****** out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a ****** can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the ****** carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A ****** dressed for church.
Why do ******s have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A ****** and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a ****** with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for ******s?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between ******s and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do ******s walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do ******s call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a ****** from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the ****** with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a ******?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at ****** yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both ******s.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both ******s.
Why do ******s wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many ****** soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!", the ******s would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a ****** with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a ******?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 ******s with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like ******s.
What do you do if you see a ****** with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So ******s know when to stop.
Why did god give ******s rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many ******s moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't ****** women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 ******s in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of ******s going over a cliff.
How do you stop a ****** from drowning?
You don't.
Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
Christmas will be here this year.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My ****** I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the ******s to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of ******s drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
******s Are Always Causing Problems
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