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This thread is the saddest thing I've ever read
BVF, you implied that the kids wanted you two to get back together, is that the case? I mean did you ask them what they wanted?
I came from a home where my parents fought all the time, it changed me, and if I were asked if I wanted my parents to be separated at that time, I think I would have said yes.. maybe
Also.. I'm going through something similar right now, my ex husband fought for the kids, and I ended up letting him take them for a few years because they wanted to stay where they were, where their friends were, school etc. It was a tough decision, but I didn't let on to them that it broke my heart.. I was more concerned about what was good for them.
Then 2 years after that, he had a nervous breakdown.. sold the house and dropped the kids off on my doorstep, and didn't see them for 4 years.
Just before Christmas this year, he came to see them (after 4 years with no contact) I was so happy I welcomed him with open arms, because my kids needed him to be in their lives.. he drives a truck and comes here to visit them when he can. We aren't back together, but are very cordial with each other. For now, it's a good situation.. and I think as long as I don't get intimate with him things can be good. He's not pushing for that, and neither am I. We're enjoying our kids together, and that's it.
Maybe this kind of situation could work for you?
In any case hon.. the best of luck to you.. I hope you can find some kind of happiness in all this
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