Originally Posted by Herb Kornfield

It depends on a few things that I have encountered since my wife had a 5 year old when we met 7 years ago.

- Does the child live with the mother full time / part time / only on weekends?
- How involved is the father in the child's life?
- How involved is the father with the mother?
- How old is the child?
- What is your comfort level with the father if he's around?
- What do you think of having to do quite a bit of activities that are kid centric?

In my case, My wife and her ex were already broken up for 5 years when I met her. The father was involved in the child's life to an extent but, tried his hardest to make things difficult for me and her to do almost anything. If he had to drop his kid off at 7pm, that meant a window of 5pm to 10pm I came to find.

He continued to be as difficult as possible with me with phone calls, emails, trying to see if I'd leave the picture. I tried to be as calm as possible since there is a child involved here that loves her father and I dont want to upset her.

It came down to us both just knocking on his door one day and confronting him to lay it out that he is the childs father and that is it. There are no other aspects of our life that are of his concern. He was pissed and still vents to this day, however, not nearly as much as he once did.

If you are willing to take on what comes with the terrority then, it can be cool, just be aware of what you are walking into when it comes to being around people's kids and the new man in mom's life.