ElvisManson

Defense Attorney: "What is your age?"
Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old."
DA: "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?"
LOL: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."
DA: "Did you know him?"
LOL: "No, but he sure was friendly."
DA: "What happened after he sat down?"
LOL: "He started to rub my thigh."
DA: "Did you stop him?"
LOL: "No, I didn't stop him."
DA: "Why not?"
LOL: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago."
DA: "What happened next?"
LOL: "He began to rub my breasts."
DA: "Did you stop him then?"
LOL: "No, I did not stop him."
DA: "Why not?"
LOL: "Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"
DA: "What happened next?"
LOL: "Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him 'Take me, young man, take me!'"
DA: "Did he take you?"
LOL: "Hell, no. He just yelled 'April Fool!!!' ...and that's when I shot the son of a bitch!"