Every year my brother and I leave out ?creative? notes for Santa.
Sometimes we cross the line and ?Santa? leaves charcoal in our stockings.
This was last year?s note:
Dear Santa,
Obviously, you are a man who is at peace with his feminine side. I mean, look at the way you dress: Bells, red suit, fur.
Kudos to you for really embracing that whole ?gay apparel? concept!!
But?
You need to give that same gay attention to your grooming, boy!
The polar bear look went out with bath houses.
Its time to freshen up your look and tame that beard.
Your look says ZZ top, and we want it to be Chi-Chi HOT!
We love you no matter what.
We just think Mrs. Claus would appreciate it and you may even feel better about yourself, too.
Think about it.
Heh. We've also left out lines of coke (sugar), vegetables (cause he was getting too fat), and self help books.