You seriously need to get out of this business...it's affecting you in a BAD way.....
This biz is not for everyone and it sounds (from your own words)
that it is NOT for you...If you cant get all the good booty you want and make a 6 figure income while working in this biz 15+ hours a day, then your doing something wrong and need to get out now.....go back to the mainstream world work a 8 hr job, put in overtime before the holidays so you have a few bucks to buy presents, go to happy hours and try to pick up on some secretaries...you know the routine..maybe that will be better for you and you wont have anymore psychological disorders.
Just my 2 cents.