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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ICQ: 251425 Fr/Au/Ca
Posts: 6,863
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This is a conversation I had with a cab driver who, for obvious reasons,
prefers to remain anonymous. I'll tell you this much though, he doesn't
drive for the company I drive for. - G.A.
G.A.: Let's start with drinking and driving. Have you ever been drunk
while driving cab?
Driver: Never.
G.A.: How about drugs?
Driver: Oh yeah, heroin. In fact, one time... no... more than once, a couple
times... I'd go to work and I'd be high on heroin and I'd stop and
smoke some pot. I'd be driving along and I'd forget where I was and
where I was going. I'd look around and just not know. I've been
driving cab long enough to recognize where I am in any corner in the
city, but there were a couple of times where I panicked because I
didn't know where I was going or why, you know.
G.A.: Did you have passengers when that happened?
Driver: Oh yeah, with passengers. I just faked it. I kept driving straight
till I could figure out where I was. It was just a momentary lapse,
it would come back in about ten or fifteen seconds.
G.A.: Did that scare you?
Driver: No, I felt really stupid actually. More than anything, I felt dumb.
G.A.: You didn't lose control of the car or anything?
Driver: No, I had control of the car. I've never had any wrecks. I like to
be in control, that's why I used to do heroin, because I like to be
in control too much and I had to escape my desire to be in control!
G.A.: Did you feel like you had to do heroin?
Driver: No, I did heroin because I liked heroin.
G.A.: Well then why did you do it at work?
Driver: That was probably when I was strung out. I think I probably did it
a couple times. There was a certain period of time when it was not
that unusual for me to do heroin while I was driving a cab. But it
wasn't a very long time, it was probably over a period of a couple
years or so.
G.A.: Was it the combination of heroin and pot that made you lose it?
Driver: It definitely seemed to be the pot. That was the culprit.
G.A.: What else has happened while you were under the influence behind the
wheel.
Driver: You're probably referring to the story I told you about the drunken
queen I picked up South of Market who was doing amyl nitrate.
G.A.: Well, that was one of the stories I hoped you'd tell me, but I was
just wondering if anything interesting has happened while you were
under the influence driving.
Driver: Well, I never was all that intoxicated. I never actually drove
drunk. I mean, sometimes I'd have a couple of drinks in a bar at the
end of my shift, but basically I wasn't really driving under the
influence at all. All the really truly horrifying or interesting
things that have happened to me have happened when I've been pretty
straight and sober.
G.A.: Tell me about that.
Driver: I've developed this theory that it seems that all the really weird
things that happen to cab drivers happen to them the first couple of
months that they drive cab. They're kind of like prey in the jungle,
like a newborn or something saying "victimize me" and people pick up
that energy. Actually I think it has more to do with they don't know
how to differentiate between fares that will be a problem and fares
that won't. I actually know this guy who got robbed on his first
night driving and continued to drive for a couple of years and got
robbed twice after that. I don't know what it was with this guy, but
he seemed to attract that. In fact, I think he was robbed twice in
his first week. But he kept driving. Actually, the first couple of
weeks that I was driving, I picked up this guy, and it was probably
4:30 in the morning and this was back in the early 80s when there
used to be a lot of bath houses opened, this was before AIDS
and it was common to find a lot of drunken gays down there trying to
get home. This guy, I picked him up and he was pretty out of it. He
was sniffing amyl nitrate and asked me if I wanted some and I said
no. But I had my window mostly rolled up and as he was doing it, I
was kind of getting high off the fumes anyway. I had to roll down the
windows gasping for air. He had asked me if I minded him doing it
and I said "No, I don't care what you do as long as you pay me." So
then he pulls out this dildo, and holds it up and says "I'm gonna put
this in my ass." I just turned to look at him and said "Great." So he
pulled his pants down and pulled his knees up around his ears and
started sticking this dildo in his ass. I just drove and tried to
ignore it. Like I said, I didn't really know any better. I thought
maybe this was what cab driving in San Francisco was about. And
he's sticking it in going "Look at me look at me! Watch me, this is
like my pussy!" And I looked back and it was pretty disgusting and he
kept doing that and I was just trying to get him where he was going.
And he said "It's ok, I'll pay you extra" And that time of the
morning, money was kind of scarce so I was willing to go along with
it. So we keep driving and then he says "I'm gonna jerk off now." And
that's where I drew the line "No, you're not going to jerk off." And
he says "No, it's ok, I'll clean it up, I have a towel! I'll give you
fifteen dollars!" And I thought about it and said "Ok", cause fifteen
dollars is fifteen dollars. So he started jerking off, and he had
this greasy little towel that he wiped it up with after he came.
And then he started sticking his dildo in his ass again. And the next
thing I know he had hung his ass over the front seat and he's
sticking the dildo in and out of his ass right beside my ear. And I
kinda looked over and I was completely flabbergasted and all of a
sudden it dropped out of his ass and onto the seat beside me. It fell
right on top of my waybill and it was just sitting there with the
street lights glistening off of it, and he said "Grab it and stick it
in!" And I said "No, no, I'm not going to do that." And then he said
"I'll give you ten dollars more!" And I said "Oh, ok." And
I shoved it up his ass. Anyway, by that time, we had pulled up to his
apartment building at Hayes and Pierce and I said "Ok, that's it, get
out." And he only gave me like ten bucks extra so I was kind of
pissed. Then he asked me if I would come upstairs with him and he
said, "All you have to do is sit there and watch me jerk off." And I
said "No, you won't, you already ripped me off." So he got out, and
started walking away and I started driving away. I heard him yell,
and I looked in my rear view mirror and he's standing in the middle
of the street with has pants down and he's holding the dildo up in
the air and he turns and he sticks it up his ass.
That was probably my most curious fare.
G.A.: Did you just go home after that?
Driver: No, I finished my shift first.
G.A.: What else has happened to you?
Driver: Well, OK. I've had a few blowjobs while driving. And I've noticed
it becomes extremely difficult to not drive erratically when having
an orgasm in someone's mouth. I was actually coming back from a show
in Palo Alto and I'd decided I wasn't going to drink I was gonna have
to drive back and that the cops were going to be out in full force.
So I didn't drink for the whole show and then after the show I was
going to leave, but the guy who was running the show started setting
up drinks on the bar, and he just lined up ten or fifteen kamikazes
in a row. And I just took a look at them and said, "Aw, what the
hell," and I drank about seven of them in a row. Then I stayed there
for another hour or two and drove back in the van. Which I'm not
particularly proud of, that's one of the few times in my life when I
definitely knew without a doubt that I was too drunk to drive
safely. And I was kind of weaving around the road and I got a blowjob
on the way back too, and that was extremely... uh... that was
definitely... I wasn't staying in my lane.
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