CHAPTER I.
So I'm running and shit, because that's what I do. I fucking jog, fuck you, get off me. I'm not a fag, you're a fag, Finocchio.
So I'm coming into the 'high society' part of town and there's a little stream, where all the other fags jog and take their little dogs to walk, with their little poo bags and I see this lady... She's like, 50-60 years old, black-dye hair, blinding orange-red lipstick, turning a corner- driving less than 2mph around a corner. With her boney hands caked with diamonds, she clutches the wheel like a schoolgirl trying to carry one too many text books...
Can you guess what she was driving?
Um... this one:
Someone tell me why the fuck an old hag needs an Hummer H2 Hut?
I stopped in my tracks and starred her down, shaking my head in disbelief. I was pissed. I wanted to break all her windows out. I wanted to kick her in the ribs and say
"Move over granny... Let me show you how to drive this thing!"But she didn't even bat an eye my way. She continued with a 4 minute parallel park session, until I say fuck this, I'm out...
What a fucking waste.