I quit drinking and doing drugs a few years ago.. and I realised something very interesting
Drugs and alcohol took away my natural happiness.. in fact.. I didn't know what it felt like to be just naturally happy... I'd see other people enjoying themselves and acting like they were happy and I'd wonder to myself.. how can they do that, and why can't I?
I thought it was something wrong with my personality.
I was on some kind of drug or alcohol since I was 13. The doctor started me on pain killers for cramps (Thanks Doc
)
Well.. when I quit everything.. I was miserable for about a month.. then I'd have these bouts of happiness.. sort of like being high, for no reason.. it was a new feeling to me.
I hadn't realised it yet at that time.. when I DID realise it was after I went back to drinking.. the old feelings came back.. those feelings of needing something..
then I quit again.. and that happiness returned.. faster this time! I was floored.. I never believed those people that said you could be happy without drugs or alcohol.. but there I was singing and just being happy like a little kid..
I came to the conclusion that the chemicals in the brain are in a very delicate balance.. and any type of stimulant can really throw those chemicals off..
I'm a smart person.. but I felt so stupid to have wasted so much of my life trying to find what was missing.. oh well.. I found it now.. and it's great