First, let me preface this by saying that I'm part-Irish, I'm a heavy drinker, and my favorite beer is Guinness.
But I fuckin hate St Patricks Day, especially when it falls on a weekend. Because now, all those bars that I hang out in, where I know I can always get a seat or a stool, and where the bartender knows me and knows what drink I want, will now be packed full of wannabe drunks pretending to be cool and pretending to be alcoholics. These motherfuckers put on their Jay Crew and Abercrombie clothes and hang out at my normally quiet bar trying to re-create their old frat party days from college. Fuck them. Because of them, I'd have to deal with some newbie bartender pouring my bourbon and/or Guinness because the normal bartender is too busy dealing with the amateur drunk chicks trying to decide if they want a Whiskey Sour or a Cosmopolitan.
On this St Pattys day, I'm staying home to drink.
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