Sarah_Jayne

I just came back from the hospital. I was talking to someone on icq but I only have them as a number so please forgive me that I left you mid-conversation, I am a better buisness person than that.

He came up stairs saying he couldn't breath very well. He gets that sometimes because he has asthma. So, I sat him down and he was sweating and panting and I called 999 (same thing as 911) and between the time I called and the time they came and got him he had told me he loved me and passed out. I gave him mouth to mouth and got him around a little bit and he was in and out all through the ambulance ride and then in the hospital they couldn't figure out what was happening. They told me he would be okay but then suddenly he started to throw up and his eyes rolled back in his head and they made me leave and I knew.

Then I sat in the family area and waited. I knew what the doctor was going to say when she came in so I called his mother and sister and waited. Then the real doctor came in and started giving me medical jargon and I said 'if he dead?' I couldn't stand to listen to the jargon while he was going and I wasn't there. She said that yes, he was going to go and wanted to know if I wanted to see him. I said yes and she asked if I wanted them to clean his body up and I said no because marriage is messy, I am the one that cleaned his leg ulcers out every night..he dessrves for me to see him the way he died. I closed his yes, made them take out the air tube so I could kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him.

I am 28 years old, I am 3,000 miles away from home, the love of my life has just died and I am scared shitless. I have to now go do what I am putting off and call his kids and let them know and then my parents and ruin Thanksgiving for everyone for the rest of their lives.

Tomorrow just remember that most of you do have many things to be thankful for.

R.I.P. Marc...you are the love of my life.