"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; *hic*
I come to bury Caesar, *hic* not to praise him.
The evil that men do *hic* *hic* lives after them; *burp*
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. *hic* The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it. *hic* *hic*
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest -
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men -
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. *Godblessissoul*
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man. *hic* *burp*
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? *hic*
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man. *hic* *hic*
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; *hic* *hic* *burp*
And, sure, he is an honourable man. Shure he is.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know. *hic*
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? *hic* *hic*
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; *hic*
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me." *fart*