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evanmorgan · 11-04-2004, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buff
My Response to Europe, especially England:

In my short thirty-three year stint of borrowed time on this planet I share with a myriad of lifeforms, some sentient, some mistakenly believing themselves to be, I have apportioned much of it to study. In particular, my foci have included two aspects of the same subject, namely human beings. Praxeology is the study of purposeful human action, and History is the study of the past. In my studies, which were (and remain) extensive regardless of what some pretentious British editorialists would like to believe, I have become privy to knowledge not widely dispersed.

For example, it was passed down to me from sources ancient that the Roman Emperor Caius Caesar aka Caligula had his favorite horse elected to the Senate. That the drawings I've seen of the beast's head show it to have a strong resemblence to John Major is not relevent to this response. What is relevent is the understanding that this event occurred around 40 AD, during the early Roman Empire. For those of you in England who are still able to access a decent education, you'll note that Rome's Empire, and indeed the entire world, survived for some time thereafter. There's a conclusion to be drawn about the capacity for man to survive a government comprised of dullards which I will leave to you to discern if you can. But that is irrelevent also. What is relevent is the twaddling vitriol you have aimed at Americans.

I am sure that when you Europeans are attacked, you immediately defend yourselves, with the notable exception of France. Well, we Americans are different from you in many respects. When we're attacked, we immediately go on the offensive. Sometimes, we even go on the offensive preemptively. We are feared and hated by our enemies, and by cowards, and by pompous European twits who think they are superior to us. And we like it that way. So I'm going to respond to these allegations by telling you how it is.

Britain is a little tiny island, or two, or group of isles roughly the size of my genitalia and much less useful. It is inhabited by peoples of many flavors, the most notable being the Irish. In point of fact, the Irish are the only people of Great Britain capable of linear thought or moistening a woman's undergarments with her natural juices. It's widely known that even if the English were interested in such pursuits, such would still be the case.

England's primary import is Adobe Photoshop 7.0 which is used extensively to straighten the natives' teeth in their digital pictures. England's primary export is the unsatisfied, hairy-legged housewife, and England's primary trading partner is Norway, where the men are of peculiar tastes and often found sexually gratifying lonely woodland mammals.

History tells us that Rome, an empire that had a horse elected to its Senate, conquered much of Britain and civilized it. A wall was erected under the auspices of Emperor Publius Aelius Hadrianus in 122 AD, to separate now civilized Britain from the stick-wielding apes that eventually went on to inbreed and become much of England's royal class. Hadrian also brought architecture to England, which theretofore had only a circle of big rocks as its construction claim-to-fame. Heretofore nothing has changed.

In war, England was enormously successful, having lost only a handful times to France, including a total and complete shellacking in 1066. Other British military feats including getting crushed by spear-wielding African natives in 1879, and losing to the fledgling American colonies twice.

In affairs of government, England has a mighty record of freedom and justice. Notable events for this noble country include the Reformation and Counter-Reformation, which can be summarized as bloody religious purges. The butchery of Mary is still the source of children's Halloween games. There's also a history of slavery, imperialism spanning the entire globe such that "the sun never set on the empire," and a willingness to appease mass murderers.

Indeed, England has a lot to be proud of, most notably the success of her colonies in the New World. In a mere 200 years, America became the world's mightiest superpower, and today is its only.

We Americans pity the British, whether it be their outrageous levels of taxation, stifled economy, or shrinking relevence in the world. Like the retarded neighbor's kid, England says a lot of really stupid shit and often finds himself shitting in his diaper. We can fogive the stench England gives off, as long as England promises to try to make number two in the bathroom; but, if England continues to shit on himself when America invites him over to eat, America is going to stop coddling him.

It's not that we think all Brits are inbred, pompous, crooked-toothed dipshits -- just the ones who haven't expatriated to America.

omg your such an idiot......

lol, you call english pompus and then write something like that.......hahaha mightyest super power, yeh until bin laden gets hold of a few more planes.......

Ev