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Originally posted by Frile
Thanks a LOT tootie for sharing your experience... i don't know you but i can see you are a great girl and what you told me reminds me a lot of my love, and i feel very much like crying now...
She was like you... when we saw for the first time we couldnt resist each other. No matter what was going on around us we gave to each other and lived an intense relation until this sudden ending, which i admit i have the full responsability. She cheated the guy cause she couldnt have what she was looking for... she was bored all the time, but she felt very protected with him, thats why she took 8 months to left him and be 100% with me. And i can testify that the last month with both of us were really hard for her... she wasnt having a good time at all.
But tell me... what do you think about this now? Listen to the facts... we were most of the days together, until the very ending she was calling me several times a day to see where i was and to ask me to see her, we had a great trip a month ago, we were both tired a lot, she has personal issues (with depressed mother, financial problems, mentally ill bother, etc.), we fought a lot recently and i said bad bad things to her... not all the time of course, but they were said.
Do you think she is really indiferent with me and doesnt feel anything at all like she is telling me now? Or this is a masquerade to sustain her decision?
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Well I can't speak for HER, but if it was ME, I think my leaving would be a way of getting attention and letting you think about how much you miss me so that maybe you'd think twice about saying mean things to me later. Yes, I know that's a terribly immature thing to do, leaving for attention or whatever, but females can be like that. Sometimes when we don't know how to get what we want any other way, we leave. We don't want to, but we just can't think of another option. At the time we leave we may think we want to, but not long afterwards we realize we just wanted you to stop what you were doing.
All the times I tried to leave my abusive boyfriend, I really just wanted him to stop being mean. He was so sweet alot of the time and I cared for him deeply. His parents kicked him out of the house when he was just a teenager and everyone he ever cared about ended up leaving him. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to stay. But eventually I just couldn't stay anymore. The many times I left, or tried to, before the last time, were cries for help, trying desperately to make him see that if he didn't change, I WOULD leave forever. Eventually I just realized that my leaving wasn't enough of an incentive to make him stop and I had to give up. I hated to do that to him, but I had no choice.
Without hearing her side of the story, there isn't alot I could tell you, but from what YOU have told me, it doesn't seem to me like she really wanted to leave permanently. That's just my opinion, though.