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this is what i told Gary when he announced that he had quit smoking
if you can do the following without having a cigarette (before, during or after) then you have truly become a...ugh...non-smoker
1) eat lots of cheese and have some antibiotics until you're completely bunged up and can't crap (you'll either end up reaching for a cigarette or some Exlax)
2) have sex - but make sure to leave a cig on the night stand with an open pack of matches
3) wake up at 7am and drink strong coffee while reading the newspaper (you notice that your stocks have gone WAY up)
4) go to the casino and wait until you've made a good win on the tables
5 ) go to a sports bar and have a few beers while watching a championship game on the T.V. - and your team wins
this is a possible scenario to add on to the above one;
Arnold S, Bruce W and Sylvester S walk into the bar and sit down beside you
they're all smoking 'gars
Arnold S leans over and says, "you want a 'gar"?
what do you say?
a) i'll be back ...in just a moment and run out of the bar
b) how about we arm wrestle and the winner buys the girls, booze and 'gars
c) take the cigar and smoke it while shooting the shit with your new best friends
6) go to an Italian restaurant and have a 7 course meal
7) walk by a hooker and offer to light her cigarette
and the final one is the big test and you'll be soon feeling the effects in about 24 hours
8) lay in bed, shaking uncontrollably, sweating, swearing and try to make that little voice in your head go away
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